Arbus Boustabout – Original

NOT ARBUS

In the last post, I introduced you to Suzanna Boustabout and now I am going to introduce you to her husband, Arbus.

I met him a long time ago in DC. He is a pain in my ass, but a good friend. Once, when I got into a fight with some tosser, he came in and helped, no questions asked.

The thing with Arbus is …..he only reads fiction. And the fiction he reads is crap. It is pulp, it is cozies and graphic novels and it is fast. Now, I am not one to judge a person by what they read, but I will judge Arbus. I believe he is wrong about reading only fiction and I am challenging him to prove that just fiction is as good as my list of proven books.

I believe people must read what they must read, but for G_d’s sake Arbus there is so much out there to read and explore. And when you curse for the love of G_d put those punctuation marks instead.  This is a family channel.

So without further ado, I will let Arbus tell you what’s up in his own words.

Please note we share this document and I told Arbus, I would comment on whatever I want.

Arden Blingem comments will be in red and italicized.

————————————–

Thank you Thank you. Please ignore the british $#%* above. He don’t know a dang thang about them thar readin’ .heh heh. Ahm Arbus Boustabout, proud to be a USC graduate…no ya dang imbecile ah aint talkin’ bout caleefornighay……

Do you really think someone from South Carolina would speak like the above. Well, even if we did, we wouldn’t write in dialect, dumbass! (Dumbass is not really a curse. There are so many dumbasses out there, it is an accurate description of a person.)

Let me introduce myself formally since I don’t think he did a very good job. My name is Arbus Boustabout, I live in South Carolina with my lovely wife Suzannah, who wrote a lovely post about Washington DC.

I don’t know why it is so unusual for a man to read fiction. I read so much factual &*%# during the day that my mind only wants what is not real. I don’t read much fantasy but maybe I will. I read mostly mystery and suspense but also graphic novels. I read good stuff like Elmore Leonard or James Ellroy, great fiction to me. So don’t give me too much crap about crappy books.

The importance of reading cannot be overstressed. And I contend that any reading is better than none and possibly better than coordinated and thoughtful reading.

I want you to know that I arrived here honestly and it all started when I was very young,

You see, I learned about reading at my sweet mama’s knee….eeerkkk…&%$# that! My mom was meaner than a toad slow boiled in oil.

(I really don’t know if that is a thing but it sounded good.)

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

Getting back to my story. My mom read a lot. I remember her kicked back in her recliner and silk pajamas at 7 PM and would read every night until midnight and she read almost all mysteries.  (I think she read 2 or 3 per week.)

The literary equivalent of junk food or bad TV, but she thoroughly relaxed and it gave her an interesting view of the world and over time, I have adopted the same sort of view on reading ; I read to relax and to be entertained.

I will review old books at first, I am trying to find my way with this blogging thing.. oh, excuse me “reporting”. Arden is so old he picks a term that will not exist in like a year. “Reporting….yeah right”. And don’t believe any of this reporting because if it is done by me or Arden, it can’t be real, much less good.

SO THAT IS ARBUS AND HE WILL BE BACK SOON TO REVIEW HIS FIRST BOOK.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s